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Reblogged from dozing
imperfectlyxo:

I want this on my blog because I think it is important. If you have any problems with this, message me.

imperfectlyxo:

I want this on my blog because I think it is important. If you have any problems with this, message me.

(Source: dozing, via house-of-sarcasm)

Reblogged from lnstagrandma

dancybutt:

lnstagrandma:

how to piss someone off:

leave the door open

image

(via house-of-sarcasm)

Reblogged from dangergays

timelordspacegandalf:

loserberries:

dangergays:

enough of that “stick around for ur family” shit

here’s why you shouldn’t kill yourself u fucker

  • orgasms
  • fuckin puppies those cute lil shits
  • dude have you seen the fucking maldives
  • did i mention orgasms
  • ddude fob is back together n they r releasing new pUNK SONGS
  • so many concerts to go to
  • fuckin WINTER. snow n shit
  • the “keep calm and carry on” meme is dying

whenever im sad i look at this post

this post is now permanently on my desktop

(Source: dangergays, via daft-deception)

Reblogged from 9gag
failedhellos:

mysteampunkheart:

lam681:

winmu:

scullylovesqueequeg:

tamtoee:

yeahmicah:

thegirlinthesea:

spookydatrump:

note-inthepages:

Accurate post is accurate.

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

Lame

For those in retail.

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid ****.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

That last bit of commentary though.

failedhellos:

mysteampunkheart:

lam681:

winmu:

scullylovesqueequeg:

tamtoee:

yeahmicah:

thegirlinthesea:

spookydatrump:

note-inthepages:

Accurate post is accurate.

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

Lame

For those in retail.

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).
Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid ****.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

That last bit of commentary though.

(Source: 9gag, via daft-deception)

Reblogged from neptunain

neptunain:

go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait

(via thesteelclan)

Reblogged from augutsy

orelpuppington:

isn’t it funny how people say ‘grilled cheese’ instead of ‘grilled cheese sandwich’? you could be talking about an actual piece of grilled che

i stopped typing because i realized that this is the single most worthless post ever conceived 

(Source: augutsy, via mozaikmage)

Reblogged from tastefullyoffensive
Reblogged from bookiesbooty

xaannaax:

bookiesbooty:

It’s back.

This is my favorite video of all time

(via officialfoxnews)

Reblogged from cyborglovesong

cyborglovesong:

Velma is having none of your vampire shit today.

(via thefrogman)

Reblogged from bonedragonpit
bubblepoopswamp:

Okay everyone. Do you see this?
Do you see these two words?
They do not mean the same thing.
Can we all decide to stop using “gay” as a synonym for bisexual, since they’re completely different things? Bisexuality is not the same concept as homosexuality, nor is it a subset of it.

bubblepoopswamp:

Okay everyone. Do you see this?

Do you see these two words?

They do not mean the same thing.

Can we all decide to stop using “gay” as a synonym for bisexual, since they’re completely different things? Bisexuality is not the same concept as homosexuality, nor is it a subset of it.

(Source: bonedragonpit, via maddyhermione)

Reblogged from beastector

dactro:

conigliomannaro:

dyamirityofthelord:

lucisensitivesatan:

trategos:

boyfriend or girlfriend requirements:

  • you have to kill the spider

but spiders are cute and innocent! it should be:

  • you have to catch the spider and release it in the garden

okay

boyfriend or girlfriend requirements:

  • just get that spider away from me i don’t care if you send it to italy just get it away

DO NOT SEND THE SPIDER TO ITALY

you’re right

we will send it to france

image

(Source: beastector, via mozaikmage)

Reblogged from iraffiruse
icavein:

This makes me so happy.

icavein:

This makes me so happy.

(via find-thee-drop-of-life)

Reblogged from doeeyedpdsmessiah

moosekingofhell:

Forever wondering if I am contributing to a conversation by using my own experiences or being self centered and rude.

(Source: doeeyedpdsmessiah, via thecatformerlyknownascheshire)

Reblogged from the-plaid-princess

the-plaid-princess:

When your pet adjusts their position so they can lay their head on you

image

(via officialwhitegirls)

Reblogged from ultrafacts
kierenwalkerpds:

monobeartheater:

absorr:

ultrafacts:

Source For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts 

 Some of you are reblogging because you think its funny that programmers would talk to ducks. I’m reblogging because I think its funny picturing a programmer explaining their code, realizing what they did when they explain the bad code, then grabbing the strangling the duck while yelling “WHY WAS THE FIX THAT SIMPLE!? AM I GOING BLIND!”

AS A PROGRAMMER I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WE HAD TO BAN THE DUCKS FROM MY CLASSES BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD FLIP THE DUCK OR THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM IN THEIR CODE

so that’s the function of a rubber duck

kierenwalkerpds:

monobeartheater:

absorr:

ultrafacts:

Source For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts

 Some of you are reblogging because you think its funny that programmers would talk to ducks. I’m reblogging because I think its funny picturing a programmer explaining their code, realizing what they did when they explain the bad code, then grabbing the strangling the duck while yelling “WHY WAS THE FIX THAT SIMPLE!? AM I GOING BLIND!”

AS A PROGRAMMER I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WE HAD TO BAN THE DUCKS FROM MY CLASSES BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD FLIP THE DUCK OR THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM IN THEIR CODE

so that’s the function of a rubber duck

(via thesteelclan)